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[dryrunguy]

Many Christians trace their condemnation of pornography back to Jesus. “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart,” he is quoted saying in the Gospel of Matthew.

It goes back further than that. It started with the concept of Eve-teasing. The world would never have fallen into sin and would never have needed Jesus to die on the cross to redeem us for our sins if Eve hadn't seduced Adam into taking a bite out of an apple. It was Eve's fault, and Adam was helpless and powerless compared to her wiles.

Now, back to the very last paragraph of the article you posted. That's a really nice statement from the church. There's just one problem--I would bet money that what they SAID in that statement and what gets PREACHED from the pulpit on any given Sunday are two completely conflicting things. One of the most pervasive, underlying teachings of evangelicalism is that women are to blame for pretty much everything--and men are helpless. Thanks to Eve.

::

A sidebar: Why does evangelicalism focus so much attention and resources on stopping human sex trafficking? (Notice: I specifically identified human SEX trafficking--not human trafficking in general. You'll be very hard pressed to find an evangelical organization dedicated to ending human trafficking. But evangelical organizations dedicated to stopping human SEX trafficking are all over the place.) It's not because they want to save women and girls from abuse and death. That's just incidental. The real objective is to reduce the amount of temptation to which men may be exposed.

[Suliso]

There is a lot of temptation walking around on a hot day in our cities, let alone beaches.

I feel a bit sorry for them, but then again they're too weird. Who said that traditional patriarchy is a bad place only for women? Doesn't seem like a paradise for young men either. At least not the evangelical form of it...

[ponchi101]

You were lucky. You grew up in a society where atheism was accepted. Those of us that grew up in largely religious societies heard that story a thousand times: women were nothing but Temptation.
And I was not even into the evangelicals. I was surrounded by the Opus Dei. Same stuff, different name, but not as powerful in the mind washing skills.

[ti-amie]

Don't many men who commit domestic violence tell their partners before, during or after that it's their fault they're beating them?

[ti-amie]

[dryrunguy]

Don't many men who commit domestic violence tell their partners before, during or after that it's their fault they're beating them?

Not just men. When my brother was beating his ex-wife, my mother frequently put at least some of the blame on my ex-sister in law because she was constantly "pushing his buttons"...

[ti-amie]

Don't many men who commit domestic violence tell their partners before, during or after that it's their fault they're beating them?

Not just men. When my brother was beating his ex-wife, my mother frequently put at least some of the blame on my ex-sister in law because she was constantly "pushing his buttons"...

Women are starting to speak up about mothers-in-law- who absolve their sons of any and everything.

I think it was one of the relationship posts on Reddit where a women who is a surgeon and works long hours is having issues with her husband, who works "normal" hours and makes less than her (she said this) who won't lift a finger to do housework and when she comes home feels she shouldn't "just sleep" and expect him to do anything around the house because that's her role as a woman. His mother backs him 100%. Oh, and she can't hire a housekeeper.

This junk is internalized by both sexes and is not just a problem in "those countries".

[dryrunguy]

As many of you know, I work for a woman-dominated company. Women don't just make up the overwhelming majority of our employees; women also constitute the overwhelming majority of our corporate leadership, including our president.

Anyway, please forgive me if I have mentioned this before, but COVID has been an enlightening experience for many of my women colleagues, especially the younger/junior level staff. COVID has shown that, when two parents are shut in, the husbands/boyfriends (most of whom tend me be fairly progressive in their politics, as I have been told) assume that they should be able to work their normal 8-hour work day without interruption or distraction, and all responsibility for child care should fall on the wife/girlfriend. Who is also supposed to work a normal 8-hour work day.

It has been both a fascinating and a depressing revelation to observe.

EDIT: Oh, and in case you're wondering, the same burden on women also applies to pets. That includes walks (unless the man of the house needs a break), vet visits, feeding, etc.

[mmmm8]

Dry - all credit to you for noticing, but I will say as a woman, this is something any professional woman could have attested to before the pandemic. It's certainly part of the conversations I've had with pretty much every female colleague that has had children, although some positioned it as being super excited their husband/partner took on some minor responsibility.

It's also something I knew as a child. While my dad did more than I think 75% of fathers did even in the "equal rights" USSR, the emotional work (what needs to happen with regards to the child (or pet), when, and how) always fell on my mom. It was the same or worse in all the families I knew except where there was a single father (there were also a few families where the grandparents did all the childraising despite the presence of both parents).

I'd be really curious how much of a shift there's really been in Scandinavia, where men do better with parental leave, taking care of kids, etc., in terms of that "emotional work."

[dryrunguy]

Dry - all credit to you for noticing, but I will say as a woman, this is something any professional woman could have attested to before the pandemic. It's certainly part of the conversations I've had with pretty much every female colleague that has had children, although some positioned it as being super excited their husband/partner took on some minor responsibility.

It's also something I knew as a child. While my dad did more than I think 75% of fathers did even in the "equal rights" USSR, the emotional work (what needs to happen with regards to the child (or pet), when, and how) always fell on my mom. It was the same or worse in all the families I knew except where there was a single father (there were also a few families where the grandparents did all the childraising despite the presence of both parents).

I'd be really curious how much of a shift there's really been in Scandinavia, where men do better with parental leave, taking care of kids, etc., in terms of that "emotional work."

Indeed. I was being COVID-specific. I am disappointed more men didn't evolve, especially progressive men, given the difficult times. But yes, this has always been a thing.

[ti-amie]

Best Thread Ever re the above Part 1

[ti-amie]

Part 2







Miss Potkin
@MissPotkin
Mar 18
(expletive) HELL, IT’S HAPPENING!

[ti-amie]

Part 3

[ti-amie]

A woman I follow said that she has heard this kind of story from so many of her patients and suggests doing what this woman did. The answer she gets is "I can't".

Quarantine may change all of that.

Obviously this is a British woman but she is my hero.

[dryrunguy]

That was all sorts of awesome, Amie. Thanks for sharing.