Translation
This will be the place were, soon enough, all of you losers will drown your sorrows after another, 'ow you say, deplora..., disgusti..., uhm, terrible display of 'ow really you know nuthing about tennis on la terre bateau. Oui, here you will be after remembering too late to check for injuries, a 'orrible 'ead to 'ead record, or some other banana peel on la rive gauche that made you slip, fall and drown in Le Siene.
(Le Siene is that cesspool that runs through Paris, but never mind it).
Pardon our rudeness but, we are French. We, 'ow you say, tell it like it is and the reality is that most of you will be 'ere soon enough. So, why not take your time this week and enjoy our fine collection of cocktails and French wines? Oh, and do not pay attention to those rumors that our chef is a rrat. Our cuisine is tres magnifique; order the ratatouille and you will see.
Also, we do offer absinthe, the mythical poison, er, I mean, drink that can induce barely legal level of 'allucinations. It is the one that, it is rumored, led Vincent Van Gogh to cut one ear off, which is exactly 'ow you will feel after your pick loses 10-12 in the new fifth set TB at Roland Garros.
We will leave you for know with some music, but rest assured that we will, sooner rather than later, play LA VIE EN ROSE. Although we are actively looking for a version that says LA VIE EN ROUGE, because red is the color of this game. Red as in "you are dead". You know what we mean.
Now, if you can follow our maître di
he will lead you to your gallows, er, we mean, your table. Salut!
